The Crazy Thing Is...

Maybe it's the newness of it all. Maybe I like too hard. Maybe you're just too far. I'm not sure what it is, but it scares me. We can't physically be together due to extenuating circumstances, but I like the possibility. It's something different that you do to me. I'm frightened by the thought that you and me could never be. But I'm more afraid of what we could possibly grow to be. I guess I'll just have to stay tuned to see. All I know is you remain by my side whenever I try to run. I like that. Call me what you want. I can't even front. The crazy thing is...what we have, we can't even flaunt. I hate that. What am I to do? How am I to feel? How do I know that this is even real? I build walls to protect myself from people like you. However, not too many choose to help me break those walls down. So, why do you stick around? I'm pushing you away, but yet you remain. Why? What do you have to gain? I don't know what we're doing. I don't know your thoughts. I just know that I'm happy. The crazy thing is....you think you've trapped me, but I like being caught.

~ Kidd  

Say Word

When My Brother Stood
By: Me (Ryan G.) 

(Inspired by Essex Hemphil: When My Brother Fell)

When my brother stood

Fear took hold of his body

And tears embraced his face

It was at that moment that I knew

His life would never be the same

As I was able to feel his anxiety in

My own bones

He was already fragile

Yet prepared for stones to be thrown

Years of trying to fit

Needing to blend in

Afraid because nobody cared enough to

Defend him

But now, now he was prepared to lose it all

In order to gain every piece of himself

He was willing to be nude

In order to feel fully clothed and protected in himself

He was ready to leave

In order to arrive once again as himself

So as my brother stood

I reached out to hold his hand

Afraid to look into his eyes

Fearing what that could mean

But I reached out in hopes of touching

His soul

But as our hands met, I felt a sense

Of familiarity

And as our eyes finally met

I realized that I knew him

As more than simply my brother

He was my reflection

He was my story

He was my soul

He was me

And as my brother stood

I was encouraged to find my home

Next to him

Both of us facing a ten foot wall

Both of us standing twenty feet tall

Fearing the unknown

But accepting the freedom

The weight that had been suffocating us

For years and years

Had finally been lifted

And we were breathing

Breathing deep breaths of

Happiness

Exhaling immense amounts of self-hate

He found himself

I claimed myself

We accepted ourselves

So when my brother stood

I stood as well

And promised to never let him stand alone

Because this too was my battle

~ Kidd   

Quote This

"Straight Americans need… an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul."

~   Bruce Bawer

Say Word

Chocolate Milk

You tempt me

So tantalizing

You tease me

Tickle my tastebuds

You please me

Just need one sip
Baby

You please me

"Take it how you want, but it's clearly not about chocolate milk"

   ~ Kidd   

 

Groupthink

After watching Erykah Badu's video for Window Seat, and listening to the words she speaks at the end, it made me think how much we, as a society, tend to conform. Groupthink is a kind of conformity in which what is popular in a cohesive in-group becomes so dominant, so the norm, that it overrides appraisal of an alternative. In other words, individuality is looked down up while conformity is accepted and reinforced. In the video Erykah Badu stripped herself of everything holding her back, of everything making her like everyone else, of everything stopping her from being her true self...this was done in the form of her literally stripping and walking down the street. First off, the body is banging lol...but beyond that the concept was bananas. I mean imagine what it would be like if we could free ourselves from the social cobweb that traps us and keeps us from reaching our full potential. Think about it, by conforming to social norms instead being our individual selves and going against the grain, we are ultimately allowing society to dictate our actions and, even worse, limit our minds. So often we, myself included, are afraid to go against what is popular because we fear that rejection, we fear being part of the out-group--as if being part of the out-group is punishment for doing something different. But why do we fear being different? Because society tells us that it's wrong.  At the end of the video, Badu is shot and the word "groupthink" spills onto the ground. Her character was assassinated after stripping down and being noticed for her individuality. Wow individuality leading to character assassination...who'da thunk it? The sad thing is that it's true...we are put down, pushed to the side, and dismissed when we choose to go against what is accepted and expected and, instead, allow ourselves to be free and live freely. Think about it.

"Sometimes you have to forgo doing what's popular in order to do what's right."

~ Kidd