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When My Brother Stood
By: Me (Ryan G.) 

(Inspired by Essex Hemphil: When My Brother Fell)

When my brother stood

Fear took hold of his body

And tears embraced his face

It was at that moment that I knew

His life would never be the same

As I was able to feel his anxiety in

My own bones

He was already fragile

Yet prepared for stones to be thrown

Years of trying to fit

Needing to blend in

Afraid because nobody cared enough to

Defend him

But now, now he was prepared to lose it all

In order to gain every piece of himself

He was willing to be nude

In order to feel fully clothed and protected in himself

He was ready to leave

In order to arrive once again as himself

So as my brother stood

I reached out to hold his hand

Afraid to look into his eyes

Fearing what that could mean

But I reached out in hopes of touching

His soul

But as our hands met, I felt a sense

Of familiarity

And as our eyes finally met

I realized that I knew him

As more than simply my brother

He was my reflection

He was my story

He was my soul

He was me

And as my brother stood

I was encouraged to find my home

Next to him

Both of us facing a ten foot wall

Both of us standing twenty feet tall

Fearing the unknown

But accepting the freedom

The weight that had been suffocating us

For years and years

Had finally been lifted

And we were breathing

Breathing deep breaths of

Happiness

Exhaling immense amounts of self-hate

He found himself

I claimed myself

We accepted ourselves

So when my brother stood

I stood as well

And promised to never let him stand alone

Because this too was my battle

~ Kidd